The Red Lion: Get Ready to sing some Drinking Songs!

Do you like getting fat and drunk? Do you like getting fat and drunk with people from the UK? Do you like getting fat and drunk with people from the UK while eating Indian and British food?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then THE RED LION is the place for you! If you answered No….THEN FUCK YOU! LOL

This is without a doubt my friend’s and mine top five favorite restaurants to go to in Houston, Tx! At the same time, and without hesitation, they have the GREATEST CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA WE HAVE EVER EATEN IN OUR WHOLE LIFE!!!!!!! They actually flew in a Chef from India to teach them how to properly make it! My Indian Friend who lived in India for 3 years said that it was the best he has ever had any where!

Chicken Tikka Masala from Red Lion!

Other Items highly Recommended to try out would be the Scotch Eggs and the Beef Vindaloo!

The Scotch Eggs are crazy good! It’s a hard, boiled egg that has sausage wrapped around it, and then….Wait for it…Fried! Yes, I said Fried! If you have bad cholesterol try not to bring you personal doctor or wife here while you eat this meal! Guilty Pleasure! lol

The Delicious Scotch Egg!

The Beef Vindaloo is a delicious, but SPICY as FUCK beef dish! Great news though..According to some Scottish Men this dish has been watered down in heat levels for us American!

The Beef Vindaloo !

My EuroTrip: Sorry In Advance !

To all my wonderful readers,

I’m bout to travel to Munich, Germany, Vienna, Austria, and possibly Northern Italy in the latter part of May, and I need to hear from more experienced travelers on where to get fat, succumb to lots of alcohol, and meet future ex-wife’s!

I want any and all suggestions down to what laxative I should get to lose all the weight that I gained after my trip back from Europe!

I’m open to even hear of what sites and events I should participate in that may lead me to possibly embarrass my country by doing it!

If you can show me how to find this….

Where to meet her…

Without running to into this…

Or this….

That would be most appreciated!

Bone Garden Cantina: Scrapping the Crumbs Off The Plate Good!

So I have heard so much about the Bone Garden Cantina from Friends, Family, and the food network that it gave me an enormous boner for excitement to try it out while on Vacay in Atlanta for Xams!

So my parents and I, being half Hispanic, felt like we should put their reputation to the challenge! So if I could leave you with one phrase to describe it then it would be, “Scrapping The Crumbs off the Plate Good!”

The meals that we recommend the most would be the Pork Tamales (Puerco Aztec) and the Chorizo Empanadas (Holy Chorizo)! Which were very affordable for what we paid for at the price of $4.24 for a huge as tamale and $3.00 empanada.

The items after those dishes that we tried and enjoyed were the Barbacoa de Chivo (smoked goat’s meat), Polzoe Rojo (a Mexican chicken, hominy, radish, and avocado soup), and Mexican Cinnamon Churros accompanied with hot cocoa and a homemade cream icing!

Guru Burgers: The Sex Guru Of My Mouth!

So far the Best burger joint EVER! It’s what I/My body craves whenever I enter into my Caveman Mode!

Entrée
They use Akashi Beef (grass fed cattle) on all of their burgers! But I really don’t give a shit if it turned out to be dog, because it taste like sex! Hence, the title, “Sex Guru of my Mouth!”

You can choose from a wonderful variety of chooses in the foam of sliders, regular size, or you can double patty that motherfucker! I usually get it in slider foam, because I love trying the multiple selection for $5-6 each!

This a picture of all the burgers on the menu to order!

All of my friends and I prefer to order the delicious, orgasmic, erecting Pancho Burger! It has jalapeño bacon, fresh jalapeño slices, jalapeño guacamole, on top of the lip licking Akashi beef patty! No! Seriously! If you could eat your guru burger flavored lips after a bite of this burger you probably would!

Beer
Also, the beer selection may not be huge, but what they do have is a spectacular variety of local draft beers! The guy in the picture below has always been spot on when it came to his beer recommendations ! He gives great service and definitely one of the big reasons outside of the food of why everyone and I return to this place!

Sides and Appetizers
If you feel like soaking in a real self loathing state of mind then we would recommend trying the Cheese Stuffed, Bacon Wrapped, Meat Balls called The Cannon Balls!

Now for those Who are sick of the stand by side of fries I would indefinitely encourage your to get the Beet Chips! For those who hate beets and/or love chips I have seen these beet chips rock people’s foundations of their own Salivary Glands!

I will say that the fries here are still very delicious, and come with a number of choices of seasonings to accompany your crispy fries!

I hope y’all enjoy my favorite burger joint!

Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler!

Guru Burgers & Crepes
2268 Texas Dr,
Sugar Land, TX 77479

Bosco’s Italian Cafe: The Most Badass Muff You’ll Ever Go Down On!

So I wake up at 5 am, jump in the car, and hold in my piss for the 7 hour drive to New Orleans for one exceptional Louisiana delicacy…..Bosco’s Italian Cafe’s Muffuletta! This is the greatest Muffuletta sandwich I have ever had in my entire life! Screw the French Quarter’ Central Grocery and their touristy, lack of meat, stale bread, crap sandwiches. Bosco’s Italian Cafe knows what I crave everyday! THIS IS NO DOUBT THE FIRST PLACE I DRIVE TO WHENEVER I RETURN BACK HOME TO MANDY!

The History and of the Heavenly Muffuletta:
A traditional style muffuletta sandwich consists of a muffuletta loaf split horizontally and covered with layers of marinated olive salad, mortadella, salami, mozzarella, ham, and provolone. Its so big that it is sold in quarters, halves, and full-sized portions!

There are two very important things when it comes to “Crafting” a Muffuletta: The Bread and the Olive Salad! Both of which are amazing at Bosco’s! ANY Idiot can put meat on bread, but what you choose to hold it all together is what makes it a Real Sandwich!

**The signature olive salad consists of olives diced with celery, cauliflower and carrot found in a jar of giardiniera, seasoned with oregano and garlic, covered in olive oil, and allowed to combine for at least 24 hours.***Most people who hate olives love olive salad on the muffaletta !

**The sandwich got its name from the name of the bread, Muffuletta! It was chosen, because it was softer than the normal Italian braided bread while still holding all the ingredients well together!

OH YEAH! A Drive-Thru Daiquiri is always recommended along with it! Hell! It is New Orleans! Eat and Drink it all up!

A Premium Muffaletta from Bosco’s ! SO hard to finish, But SO hard to stop eating!

Two of my Best Friends that I introduced to this wonderful Addiction!

This is the most common pose for this amazing meal! lol

I’ve made a believer out of all my friends that I’ve taken to Bosco’s!

Well I hope y’all enjoyed reading this entry, because it has almost cost me a devastating break with my bullshit diet just writing it!

Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler!

ALWAYS GO DOWN ON THE MUFF!

Bosco’s Italian Cafe
2040 Hwy 59
Mandeville, LA 70448
(985) 624-5066

http://www.yelp.com/biz/boscos-italian-cafe-mandeville#hrid:sa_9qrY9Nl9ohK-UJ0WLzg/src:self

Willet Reserve: My Stumbling Adventures with Bourbon/Scotch/Whiskey

Over the past year, I have been drowning my tongue in an obscene amount of Bourbon/Scotch/Whiskey to keep alive my sacred New Year’s resolution to try new things! Fortunately, all of those new things happen to be Food and Spirits!

So far I have tried many, but there is one that stands out of the crowd!

WILLETT POT STILL RESERVE

Fielding’s Wood Grill – The Woodlands, TX

Wow! Truffle bacon Mustard! I’m can’t wait to try this out!

Bruce's Burger Blog

The Woodlands has yet another new burger restaurant: Fielding’s Wood Grill. Founded on the principal of fresh ingredients and home-made everything, Fielding’s has set itself apart from the burger norm. Hormone-free angus beef served on freshly baked buns of all kinds are the staple on the menu at Fielding’s, but be aware of the hidden gems on the menu.

I headed to Fielding’s on a Friday evening. It had been open for roughly a month and I was totally unaware. Tucked behind a row of trees along Research Forest Drive, Fielding’s is almost invisible to the unaware. I wouldn’t have known it was even there if it weren’t for my GPS.

As we walked in we were immediately greeted by the hostess and she gave us a few minute wait time. After about 15 minutes we were seated. We had already looked at the menu, so ordering was quick.

I…

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Queen Vic pub and kitchen: My New Pub Food Addiction

What started as an adventure to Oporto turned into a curiosity for the Queen Vic Pub and Bar! As mentioned in my last blog about Oporto Cafe, both these restaurants are owned by the same person! Let me tell you, “the proof is in the Bread Pudding!”

Both have delectable food, but if you more prefer the loud, crazy pub scene then Queen Vic is more up your alley!

If you show up for happy hour during Monday-Friday between 4-7 there are even more happy hour specials raging in all affordable price rages than what Oporto Offers! However, the food is very reasonable price for what you get either way!

We showed up for happy hour, and decided to get the paratha shrimp taquitos and the Lamb Poutine! Both were hard to share in our moment of ecstasy, but we managed out of our joy to share who had the better choice! Both were amazing, but the yellow sauce on his taquito had me licking the plate and fork that touched the masterpiece! Lol

A Flight of Beers: Dogfish 90 Minute, two other 8% Ipa’s, and Southern Tier’s Choklat!

Lamb Poutine! It was alright!

The Paratha Shrimp Taquitos were SO AMAZING we didn’t even waste the time to a better picture! Had me licking the plate!

My friend and I spent 30 minutes or more deciphering between what amazing entree to get! Now, that was just 30 minutes trying to decide what two or three we wanted the most, and then the next 10-15 minutes deciding on only one of those! lol

My friend decided to get the Hanger Steak with a side of Blue Cheese Salad, and I FINALLY decided to order the Lamb Kebob Burger! His steak was cooked perfectly as ordered, but no matter how good it was the sweet, teriyaki flavor on it had no place at this restaurant!

Now my Lamb Kebob Burger on the other hand metamorphosed from good to outrageously, Spectacular with each and every single bite! First Bite, a delicious chunk of the hearty and think Lamb Kebob! It was Unlike any other lamb I have had yet! Second and Bigger Bite, came with the advance and pleasurable explosion of the blue cheese! Third and monster-sized bite, the red cabbage chivalry came galloping majestically upon my taste buds!

My friend became so jealous of my choice with the site of my facial expressions that he asked to trade meals! Being the good and regrettable friend that I am, I decided to trade with him!

The Hanger Steak with a requested side of Tikka Masala Sauce with a Hispanic influence!

The Mouth Watering Lamb Kebob Burger with blue cheese and red cabbage! Highly Recommend this!!!

All of the food was great, but I would highly recommend the Paratha Shrimp Taquitos ($7 during happy hour) and the Lamb Kebob Burger ($14) the most!

Hope you run out and enjoy the foodgasm I had the chance to devourer!

Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler!

Oporto Cafe: transported into Food Heaven

While first walking into this teleportal of a restaurant it is as if I have stumbled onto the set of the movie, “A Walk in the clouds”. Captivating conversations filled with eargasmic accents that I couldn’t even understand with three years of Spanish, but I find myself not caring! Outside the doors of this place maybe America, but while I enjoy my dirty martini that they described to me as if it was a family secret I still wouldn’t give a F**k what is outside those doors!

The cutest girl, a daughter of one of the staff, continued with her adorable voice and conversation with the three men (as if it was a sence from “Three Men and a Baby) , and was working on serving the other Spanish customers by acting her little self.

I preceded to order the bread plate in which one of the two breads were made there, and the other was made in their second restaurant called Queen Vic Pub and Bar down the road. A good starters, but the White Sangria that I ordered along side wasn’t as impressive! However, I did love their passionate story of how Sangria received its name! Sangria means “blood” in Spanish!

Now I would of kept ordering more foods to try, but I ran into a number of other situations!

1.) It wasn’t happy hour so the prices were, by the looks of it, almost triple the pice they were on happy hour! Which wasn’t worth spending $35 for three very small tapas for one person !

2.) all the meals I wanted and came for weren’t even cooked even after 2 hours of being open ! I’m happy it’s fresh, but if they open at 4pm don’t show up til after 6!

3.) MOST IMPORTANT: I met a gorgeous girl that asked me to blow this joint, and later that night we ended at a strip club where she was making out with the dancers ! SCORE!

So the review isn’t over, and I’m willing to try again ! However, it would only be during happy hour!

Rico’s World Kitchen: Fusion Food At its Best!

Rico’s World Kitchen: One of my favorite hole in the walls in all of Atlanta! It’s an amazing Son and Mother joint that specializes in Filipino / New Orleans Creole fusion food! I heard about this place from so many telling me how amazing their food was, and not one negative comment at all.

If you go there you must try the Chicken Cuban ! By far the best version of a Cuban that I have ever had! They smoke their own pork, and make the best smoked vinegar BBQ dip for the side! These flavors compliment the sandwich so well that a lot of times people just soak their pork or pour the sauce all over the sandwich! Another key to any of their sandwiches is how none of their bread gets soggy even when doused with any of their delicious toppings!

The last picture of a sandwich is snapshot of their mouth watering Ham and Brie sandwich topped with apricot jelly! The food orgasm that accompanies each and every single single bite is like the best one night stand you’ve ever had that turns into a possible candidate for introducing her to your mother ( which I am guilty of introducing it to my mother). It’s salty from the fresh baked ham, creamy from the Brie, and sweet from the apricot jelly!

On the side they are known for their homemade sweet potato kettle chips, hash browns, fried green tomatoes, or lumpias! A lot of these dishes, like the lumpias and deserts, are only made by the mother! If they run out and she’s not present to make them then you’re shit out of luck!

Also, for those beer lovers, they have a great varied of beers that happen to be very affordable for this town.

I will leave you with one last phrase to leave you drooling, “You truly can taste the love!”

Cuban Sandwich with Sweet Potato Chips

Ham And Brie topped with Apricot Jelly